When I'd ask to see some of the messages, she'd tell me that she already deleted them. From my perspective, even random banter is hot if that random banter is with a guy trying to get in my wife's pants. That caused me some heartburn, since I wanted to read even the smalltalk. I keep every message/email/phone message/picture and rarely delete anything, while my wife sometimes cleans up her inbox and texts. I always wanted to read every single text message, but my wife didn't understand why I cared since 95% of the messages were just boring small talk. Her phone is off limits to me.Įarly on this was a point of contention for us. It's funny that we've gradually hopped through most of these answers as our hotwife marriage has matured. She needs to feel supported more than analyzed in this lifestyle. It's going to be an emotional roller coaster at times especially if she really likes the guy. It took a while to get her but now I understand that she is going to develop some level of feelings with her regular boyfriends. She's an open book now.Įdit: Now I do think it's important to give he space to create the relationship and connection she needs without having to worry about what I will think about every comment or emotion or action she takes. But that was a small symptom of a much larger problem that we were both responsible for creating. The only time it was a problem was if she was hiding feelings. Sometimes she texted something drunk and regretted it and didn't want me to see. In the early years of figuring out the lifestyle she did some deleting and it was an issue. Deleting messages would seem like a problem. Sometimes I find something juicy, other times I'm reminded of how different men are than women. I'm usually hoping to find something steamy. I used to read them a lot more than I do now. In your weak moments of waiting for your spouse remember the wait doesn’t have to be done in misery, it can be done victoriously.I can look whenever I want and I do occasionally. Being single is not a death sentence, it’s an opportunity for self discovery. And most importantly, I have to walk in my purpose so that I can continue to discover who I am and why God choose me to live. I had to and have to take care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually in order to be whole. I had to set boundaries before a relationship, during and even more so now that I’m married. However, my journey to being The Confident Wife started with the three touch points that I mentioned. It wasn’t long ago that I was an unmarried woman. On the road to discovery, your spouse may find you there.īeing single is not easy. Discover our purpose and begin living in it. For the sake of trying something different in order to get different results, let’s do this. We second, hope the man we find will then help us discover our purpose. We first, are so busy looking we take away the man’s responsibility to look. I soon realized that most of us do the opposite. Walking in Purpose: I heard a preacher once say when you’re walking in your purpose the person who is capable of supporting you in it will find you there. However, the truth is, most of us say we’re ready for a spouse and have some emotional growing to do. When you’re ready to accept the person God has for you, yes, you can make lounge wear look like a cocktail dress because there is a natural glow that pours out of you that will attract many. There is a fine line between over doing it and not doing enough, and it’s important to find that sweet spot. The way you look when you leave the house to run to the grocery store is a reflection of what’s going on inside of you. The man God has for you is also attracted by what he see’s. Self Care: The whole idea that the man that God has for me better accept me for who I am is a joke, a lie, and an excuse for laziness. Forgiveness is a good quality to possess, however, it doesn’t mean a person has to remain in your life at the same capacity after they’ve crossed a boundary. How committed are you to your own boundaries? Especially when it comes to a relationship… or when it comes to ending one because your boundaries have been crossed. When you go against your word, you’ve crossed your own boundary and have created a pathway for people to challenge your inconsistency. People rarely forget the things one said they wouldn’t do. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but what can blossom from something deserted? I can continue with analogies all day long, but let’s address the real issues at hand.īoundaries: You must be willing to stand strong on the boundaries you’ve put out into the universe. Where is the man that is going to take me off of this deserted market?
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